It's Always Been You Read online

  “It’s Always Been You”

  An M/M Gay Romance

  Max Hudson

  © 2020

  Max Hudson

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

  This book is intended for Adults (ages 18+) only. The contents may be offensive to some readers. It may contain graphic language, explicit sexual content, and adult situations. May contain scenes of unprotected sex. Please do not read this book if you are offended by content as mentioned above or if you are under the age of 18.

  Please educate yourself on safe sex practices before making potentially life-changing decisions about sex in real life. If you’re not sure where to start, see here: http://www.jerrycoleauthor.com/safe-sex-resources/ (courtesy of Jerry Cole).

  This story is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner & are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Products or brand names mentioned are trademarks of their respective holders or companies. The cover uses licensed images & are shown for illustrative purposes only. Any person(s) that may be depicted on the cover are simply models.

  Edition v1.00 (2020.01.08)

  http://www.maxhudsonauthor.com

  Special thanks to the following volunteer readers who helped with proofreading: RB, JayBee, Jenny, E.W. Gregg and those who assisted but wished to be anonymous. Thank you so much for your support.

  Table of Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Epilogue

  Prologue

  Benji

  Age Eighteen

  It had been a long night for Con and me. It was the last few days of summer before senior year, which meant there were parties happening all weekend long. We’d just left a house party that was starting to get a little too crazy for my taste. Con had drunk himself stupid so I was glad that I’d decided not to drink, otherwise we would have been stuck there. I drove us back to Connor’s place and tried to get him upstairs without waking his mom and dad. They were pretty cool about most things, but I didn’t think they’d appreciate their eighteen-year-old son coming home drunk.

  I managed to get Connor to his room and out of his clothes before he passed out on the bed. I ran downstairs and grabbed him a glass of water and sat it on his dresser before I grabbed his trashcan and placed it next to his bed.

  He was snoring loud enough to wake the dead, so I left him to rest. I usually slept in the guest room when I stayed over. But considering I was over there more than I was at my own house, it was basically my room. I had clothes in the closet and the drawers held my underwear and sleep clothes. When they did have guests, they usually stayed in the downstairs basement apartment. The Hayneses treated me like family, a lot more than my own family did. It was for that reason that I made sure not to stir the pot. I didn’t want to give them a reason to send me away.

  That was why I should have kept walking when I passed by Owen’s room. I shouldn’t have stopped and looked through the crack in the door where I had a perfect view of Owen’s naked body splayed out on his bed. I should have looked away when I saw his hand wrapped around his cock as he stroked. I should have turned away… but I didn’t. I stood there in stunned silence as my crush of five years stroked himself.

  I felt like a pervert, but I was too mesmerized to look away. I’d seen Owen with his shirt off before. I already knew he had killer six pack abs and a trail of dark hair that led into his shorts. But he’d been gone for almost a year and I’d missed seeing his half naked body around the house. He was sex personified and had starred in my first wet dream at thirteen. I’d had suspicions that I was attracted to guys, but it was Owen who had sealed my fate.

  My crush on him was a living, breathing thing. And it was a struggle to try and keep it hidden. But I somehow managed to do it for over four years. He didn’t have a clue. No one did. Or so I thought.

  “I know you’re there Benji,” his deep voice rumbled, and I jumped away from the door. My heart was beating so hard I could swear he’d heard it. He chuckled and the sound shot straight to my dick. I cupped myself and groaned before I turned to walk away.

  “Get in here, Benji,” he said, and I froze in my steps. He couldn’t have said what I thought he just said. But then he repeated, “Get in here Benji and close the door behind you.”

  I swore I was having an out of body experience as I walked inside of Owen’s room and closed the door behind me. I stared at the floor unable to look at him out of fear I’d spontaneously combust.

  “Benji,” he said, and my heart tripped over itself at my name on his lips. “Look at me, babe,” he said, making my breath hitch. He’d never been this soft spoken with me and he’d never called me babe. I’d heard him use the term on his other boyfriends or whatever guy he was fucking at the time but not with me, never with me.

  I finally gathered enough courage to meet his gaze. His deep blue eyes stared at me from across the room and I forgot how to breathe. It was like all of the oxygen had been sucked out of the room as our gazes clashed.

  “Con asleep?” he asked, and I nodded, unable to find words. Owen sighed and sat up in his bed. I couldn’t help but look at his wide chest as he moved. He was fucking glorious.

  “Listen, Benji,” he said, and my eyes met his again. “What I’m about to suggest may be a mistake but I already fucked up by bringing you in here. But here’s the thing. I want you.”

  It felt like I was dreaming. But even in my wildest dreams, the words that had just fallen from his lips hadn’t sounded like music to my ears.

  “W-what?” I said, finally able to find my voice.

  Owen grinned and it was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen in my life. My cock twitched in my pants and I tried to force myself to calm down before I embarrassed myself.

  “You heard me,” he said with a chuckle. “You sound surprised.”

  I gave him a “no shit” look and he chuckled again. “Benji, babe, you have to know you’re hot as hell and you’re only going to get hotter the older you get.”

  He thought I was hot. “You think I’m hot?” My voice came out with a squeak and I wanted to die. I was such an embarrassment. But Owen only grinned and nodded.

  “Yes, I think you’re very hot and well, it’s getting hard for me to be around you without thinking about how it would feel to be inside of you or you inside of me.”

  I choked on my spit and had to press my hand against the door as my knees turned to jelly.

  “What?” I shouted before I covered my mouth. Owen laughed again and I didn’t find anything funny in that moment. I was freaking the hell out and I felt the need to flee. I needed to get the hell away from this man before he ruined me.

  “Calm down, Benji,” he said as he took in my expression. “I’m not trying to tease you. I’m just being honest here. I know this may be a mistake with you being so much younger than me. Maybe you aren’t ready for this.”

  “You�
��re only two years older than me, Owen,” I pointed out and he grinned. “You’re not some old man preying on kids.”

  Owen nodded and leaned against the headboard, putting his toned abs and his still half hard cock on display. My mouth watered at the sight of him. He was like my own personal buffet and I wanted to sample all he had to offer.

  “Keep looking at me like that Benji and this is going to be over before it begins,” he growled, and I saw the heat in his gaze. He wasn’t lying to me. He wanted me.

  “Holy fuck,” I said as what was happening registered in my head. “You wanna bone me?”

  Owens hand moved to cup his dick as he growled, “Yes.”

  I swallowed down a whimper as my body began to tremble. I wasn’t a virgin, but this was Owen. The man who awakened the truth about my sexuality. But he was also my best friend’s brother.

  “Owen, I don’t think this is a good idea,” I said, and Owen nodded.

  “I know. It’s reckless and risky. I’m not asking for this to become a regular thing. I don’t think it’d be possible to hide it if we made this into a regular occurrence. All I’m asking for is one night with you. If you don’t want this, I’ll understand. There won’t be any hard feelings. But I’ve seen the way you look at me Benji and I know you want me almost as badly as I want you. One night, that’s all we need.”

  My dick was already on board with the plan, but my brain was screaming it was a bad idea. With each second that passed, and the more I took him in, I knew I was going to ignore my brain, which was why I pulled my shirt over my head and unbuttoned my jeans.

  Owen’s nostrils flared and it took me aback at the raw want and need in his eyes. He truly did want me as bad I wanted him.

  “Get your sexy ass over here,” he growled, and I obeyed. As soon as I was within arm’s reach, he grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me onto the bed. In one fluid motion, I was on my back as Owen loomed over me. His blue eyes were filled with heat and it felt like he was scorching my skin.

  “What do you want, baby?” he asked, his lips only a hair’s breadth away from touching mine. “Want to top me? Or do you want me to fuck you until you can’t breathe?”

  I moaned and Owen grinned before he pressed his lips to mine for the first time. It was like all of the air was dragged from my body as he kissed me. He controlled my mouth like it was his puppet. My hands roamed his back, my fingers memorizing the feel of his muscles. It was so surreal.

  When he broke the kiss, we both were breathing heavily. My hands were still splayed on his back as he began kissing up and down my neck. I moaned as his tongue tasted my skin. Owen nipped at my neck before his lips came back to mine.

  “Tell me, baby, tell me what you want,” he whispered against my lips. I didn’t need to think about it, it was what I’d always fantasized about.

  “Fuck me,” I said, and Owen did not disappoint.

  The events of that night were a bit of whirlwind. I’d tasted every inch of Owen’s body while he did the same to me. It was as if we were trying to get our fill, knowing this was the first and only time we’d be able to do what we were doing. I touched and caressed his body while I memorized every inch of his skin.

  And when he slid inside of me for the first time, I saw stars. I saw heaven. I felt complete and utter bliss as he kept to his word and fucked me breathless. It was the most amazing sex I’d ever had in my life. My name whispered on his lips would haunt my dreams for the rest of my life and when I came, it was as if my entire body had been torn apart. Pleasure like I’d never known consumed me. And when he came, he shook above me, his trembles so powerful, I knew he was feeling the same. He said my name like a prayer as he found his release, and it was music to my ears.

  When it was over, we clung to each other’s sweaty bodies like we didn’t want to let go. It was the most amazing night of my life, but it was also the night I realized what I felt for Owen was more than a crush. What we’d just shared was more than two people giving into carnal lust. He’d fucked me, yes, but he also made love to me.

  Owen didn’t speak as he finally pulled out of me. He got rid of the condom and exited to the bathroom. I’d had my share of hookups, so I knew I was being dismissed and it stung a bit. I ignored my hurt and pulled on my boxers. Just as I was pulling on my shirt, Owen stepped out of the bathroom with a washcloth.

  “Where are you going?” he asked, and he looked genuinely confused and a bit hurt.

  “I was going to head back to my room,” I said. Owen looked at the floor before he nodded. “Unless you want me to stay,” I said, and his gaze came back to mine. Something was going on in his head and he looked like he was at war with his emotions. I knew the feeling all too well.

  “What I want, probably isn’t the wisest thing,” he finally said, and I got it. Man, did I get it. He wanted me to stay but we both knew that if I stayed in his room, this would turn into more than a one-time thing. I’d just had a taste of him, and I was already craving more.

  “Benji,” he growled, and I saw he was getting hard again. I licked my lips as I remembered him filling my mouth. “You need to leave,” he said, snapping me back to the present. “You need to get out of here before I toss you back on this bed and shove my cock back into that sweet mouth of yours.”

  He made it sound like a threat when really it was what I really wanted.

  “Fuck me, you’re going to be the death of me. Go to your room Benji.”

  I sighed, knowing this was the best thing for us. But I couldn’t help but feel a bit dejected. But I nodded and moved toward the door.

  “Benji,” he said right before I placed my hand on the knob. I turned to look at him and found him staring at me with a melancholy expression on his face. “You deserve to know, that was the best sex I’ve ever had in my life.” I blushed and Owen chuckled. “Goodnight Benji.”

  “Night, Owen.”

  I went to bed that night with the biggest smile on my face. I’d had sex with Owen. I’d lived out one of my longest fantasies and it had been better than anything I could have ever dreamed up. It had been perfect, and I refused to believe that was the end for Owen and me, it just couldn’t be.

  But when I woke up the next morning, Owen was gone, and I wouldn’t see him again for another eight years.

  Chapter One

  Benji

  I groaned as I stretched my arms above my head. It had been a long day at the shop, and I was exhausted. I wasn’t surprised though, we always got busy around tax season. People got their refunds and went tattoo crazy. I didn’t mind, it brought in a lot of business for the shop, which meant my employees went home with some great tips.

  I opened up Cole World Creations, two years ago and I’ve never looked back. A lot of love, time, and determination went into opening this shop and with the help of my best friend and co-owner, Connor, we’ve been doing pretty damn well for ourselves. So well, we were featured on a nationwide TV series where a lot of my work, as well as my employees’, were put on display. That got us so much press we’d had appointments backed up for months and we haven’t slowed down much since then.

  I’d just finished a back piece that I’d been slowly finishing for almost a month. It was a huge piece of work, taking over the woman’s entire back. The tattoo was a representation of her life and as she told me the story of each detail, I’d found myself getting choked up.

  When it was done, she’d looked at it with tears rolling down her face. It was clear the tattoo meant everything to her, and it was a reminder of why I did what I did. Tattoos could be extremely meaningful, and I loved seeing the expressions on people’s faces when they saw the end result. It was needless to say but I loved my job.

  Being the owner of the shop, I could very easily sit back and handle the business end of things, but I loved the buzz of the shop and the feeling of a tattoo gun in my hand. I was an artist and the human body was my canvas.

  The electronic sensor chimed indicating we had a new customer. My last appointment had just left, an
d I was free for a few walk-ins if they weren’t looking to get anything large tattooed on them. I looked up and smiled when I spotted Connor. He didn’t come to the shop often, he liked to remain a silent partner in the business. He looked out of place in his business suit and slicked back hair. All were welcome in Cole World, but my best friend stuck out like a sore thumb.

  “Well, don’t you look pretty,” I said as I sat back in my chair. Connor flipped me off, which got a few laughs. The staff greeted Connor and he did his rounds before he made it to me. I stood up from my chair and wrapped my friend in a hug. It had been three months since I’d last seen him and I’d missed him,

  “What’s up man, you didn’t tell me you were coming home,” I said as I patted him on the back. He sighed before he took a seat in the tattoo chair.

  “I wasn’t planning on it until next month but Mom and Dad’s thirtieth anniversary is coming up and for whatever reason they want to spend it with us,” he said, and my heart began to race. I knew who he meant by us, which meant Owen would be coming home.

  I tried to keep my voice as casual as possible when I asked, “So, did Owen actually agree to come this time?”

  “Surprisingly, yeah. He’s flying in tonight.”

  I clenched my hands into fists and tried to keep my heart from beating too loudly. eight years, it had been eight years since I’d laid eyes on Owen Haynes. Eight years since he snuck out in the middle of the night and stopped coming home. I knew Connor and his parents went to visit him wherever he was living, but he never came back home.

  We lived in a small suburban community in Decatur, Georgia. But I’d moved to Atlanta to open my shop. It wasn’t that far of a drive, so I was never too far from home. But I also didn’t visit as much as I should. My parents and I didn’t have too good of a relationship. They were never home and were almost like strangers to me. Elizabeth and Tony Haynes had been more like parents to me than my own had. My parents hadn’t even realized I’d moved out of the house until I’d been gone for almost three months.