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It was meant to be a play on words. The show focused a whole lot on Jesse coming out of the closet, obviously; but it was also about him coming out of his shell and stepping out of his family’s shadow. Depending on how you looked at it, the title could be applied to Oscar’s journey as well. Most, if not all, of his screen time had to do with coming out of his apartment and back into the public eye.

  Even though Oscar’s parts were originally intended to be the B story interwoven between the main sections of Jesse going out and helping people, Oscar wouldn’t be surprised if the editors had flipped it to make the show more about their romance. Either way, it didn’t really matter. Jesse hadn’t helped those people for the sake of ratings, he’d done it because he wanted to.

  Speaking of Jesse, it didn’t take a genius to see how much of a nervous wreck he was. His entire body was coiled tight and he was refusing to give anyone more than one-word answers. His tensed calves felt like a brick wall against Oscar’s back. The two of them had hardly spoken at all in the previous weeks thanks to Jesse’s ridiculously long and extensive press tour. He’d been flying back and forth from LA to New York every couple of days to make his rounds on all the relevant talk shows. He’d even gone back and paid another visit to Betty Mathison. It was literally insane the amount of hours he’d personally put into promoting the show. Like, he had gone above and beyond trying to sell this thing. If it ended up sucking after all that hype, he’d never live it down. The nerves were pretty understandable in that respect.

  Admittedly, Oscar was pretty nervous himself. Nobody had seen the final cut of the first episode yet, not even Jesse, but Oscar knew two things. One, that he was in it and, two, that a lot of the footage was going to be cut together in a stream of consciousness style in an attempt to strengthen the narrative. That was pretty much the extent of Oscar’s knowledge.

  The network had also gone to great lengths to keep Oscar’s involvement a secret, which was kind of surprising. He had been expecting the marketing team to hype this up as Oscar Hernandez’s mighty return to the small screen. He had assumed they would plaster his face all over billboards and use him for the views that a sentence like that was bound to bring in, but they’d gone for the surprise angle instead. It was understandable. They already had people’s interest thanks to the forced public outing situation. Millions were already going to tune in to see who Jesse Sugar’s alleged boyfriend was regardless. The fact that it was Oscar Freaking Hernandez? That was just icing on the cake. The two of them were about to break the internet, for sure.

  Oscar still didn’t know how he felt about it all to be honest, but he had faith in Jesse. He knew that the show would be everything he wanted it to be and so much more. After everything they had endured together, he felt confident saying that he’d follow Jesse Sugar to the moon and back. Nothing, not even superstardom, could ever tear them apart.

  Suddenly, Isabel’s voice rose up above the background murmuring that was filling the room.

  “It’s starting!” she shouted. “Everyone be quiet.”

  A soft hush fell over the group as they turned their attention toward the screen. The end credits were playing for the newest episode of Spoonful of Sugar. As the tiny white names, many of which Oscar now recognized as people sitting in this very room, whizzed by, a smooth-voiced announcer came on, urging people to stay tuned for the world premiere of I’m Coming Out with Jesse Sugar. The screen faded to black and the anticipation built. The living room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

  Then the opening credits started. The attendees of the viewing party cheered as the sassy theme music played over various clips and images of Jesse doing his thing. There was one of him hugging a crying woman, one where he was leading a family into their newly remodeled restaurant, the famous clip from his Betty Mathison interview, him running around and playing with puppies at an animal rescue, and even a quick glimpse of him cooking with Oscar in his apartment from what felt like ages ago.

  After the theme song came a serene exterior shot of some palm trees blowing in the wind. This quickly dissolved into an interior one of Jesse welcoming his small but mighty film crew into his apartment. The clip had no audio save for the snappy little acoustic backing track. Steve, Amal, Jesse, and presumably also Ted from behind the camera, gathered around the coffee table in Jesse’s living room as Jesse laid out some sort of schematic for the first of his grand and generous surprises.

  There was a cutaway to Jesse giving a confessional in his spare bedroom. Oscar couldn’t help but notice that he was wearing the same outfit he had been wearing on the night of their very first movie date. At the bottom of the screen, there was a lower third that stated his name and age, as if there would be anybody watching this who didn’t know that.

  “This program is really special to me,” Jesse started out saying. “It’s something I’ve been wanting to do for years.”

  The visuals cut away again, this time to Jesse making sweeping hand gestures at a man wearing a construction hat as he explained some sort of important detail about the remodel. The audio from his confessional kept playing over the top of it.

  “I know my family and I are very fortunate to have what we have.”

  The scene shifted back to Jesse sitting in front of the camera.

  “I’ve always done my best to give back and not take things for granted, but on this show, I want to go above and beyond that. I want to take myself out of my comfort zone and put myself in other people's shoes.”

  A scene of him wearing a hairnet and working in a kitchen. One of him sawing and hammering out in the blazing hot sun. One of him gently guiding Oscar, whose back was to the camera, out of his parked car. That last one gave Oscar a secret chill up and down his spine. How much longer until the whole world got to see his face?

  “I want to help other people discover their purpose in life,” Jesse continued, “and hopefully learn something new about myself as I’m doing it.”

  The camera held on Jesse for a just a moment longer before finally switching over to a lady named Melody Vale, who was talking about how she knew Jesse—her daughter had once gone to middle school with him—and her restaurant, Chickadees, which had been in her family for generations, but was now in danger of closing down due to its ratty interior and dwindling clientele. She was tearing up by the end of the interview, mourning the loss of her legacy.

  A still frame of the restaurant’s exterior popped up on screen and a bulleted list of facts about the place appeared over the top of it. Things like when it was founded, how much square footage there was, and the foods for which they were famous back in the day. Then Jesse came back on to explain how they had convinced Melody that they wanted to do a documentary on the historic place before it shut down for good. They had gotten a spare set of keys and permission to film overnight. Now it was time for them to make some magic happen.

  For the next couple of minutes, the show was a pretty basic renovation show. Jesse and his friends pitched in with a professional interior design crew to modernize the space, while still keeping its iconic charm. They worked the whole night long and into the early morning. Jesse kept having to call Melody’s daughter, who was in on it all, to help stall for time.

  Then the show was gearing up for its first commercial break. They teased about Melody’s reaction as well as some of the things coming up later on in the episode, namely, Oscar and Jesse’s first ever meeting. Oscar’s heart started pounding hard as a car insurance ad started blaring at him. Jesse reached down to put his hand on Oscar’s shoulder and Oscar leaned his head into the touch. The assembled guests were talking animatedly among themselves and prematurely congratulating Jesse on a job well done. He and Oscar remained quiet. They hadn’t even gotten to the juicy stuff yet.

  The commercial break ended and programming resumed. Melody loved the restaurant of course and was overcome with gratitude, but the show didn’t linger on her for very long. In fact, it literally paused on her mid-sentence and added in a stock sound effect of a radio announcer
saying, “We interrupt this program with a very important message.” The show then proceeded to cleverly splice in actual news footage of reporters weighing in on the Jesse Sugar photo scandal. It was all made to look very serious and dramatic, like Jesse had been some sort of important public figure who had been publicly disgraced.

  Following the montage, there was another cut back to Jesse in his room, this time looking more haggard.

  “Around the time we were filming Melody’s episode, I was going through a pretty drastic change in my life.”

  A close-up of the movie theater pic followed by Jesse confirming that he was gay on the Betty Mathison show.

  “And it actually all started while I was filming this show.”

  They threw to some shaky footage of Jesse stepping out of the elevator outside of Oscar’s apartment. He had his head turned back toward the camera and one finger over his mouth, telling everyone to be quiet. The background music was still playing, but it abruptly cut out the moment Jesse touched his knuckles to the door.

  They played the clip of Oscar’s panic attack and Jesse coming to comfort him with no cuts. It was actually kind of neat seeing it all from this different angle. A grand old trip down memory lane. Oscar could even see the exact moment when Ted dipped down in front of him and pocketed the mug shard that had somehow inexplicably led to all this nonsense. Oscar would have to remember to thank him for that someday.

  As the clip was playing, Jesse’s family kept sneaking glances at him. Oscar could sense the surprise and pity radiating from them. It was understandable. They hadn’t had any frame of reference for just how bad his state of mind had been until now. Knowing that someone was suffering from mental illness and seeing it firsthand were two completely separate things. Even Jesse had leaned forward to wrap his arms around Oscar’s neck.

  The thing was, Oscar was actually okay. Watching the clip back, he realized that he barely had anything left in common with that scared, bedraggled, hunched over husk of a man. In fact, he felt like he was watching his memories happen to a completely different person entirely.

  Following that long and emotionally charged scene were several more face to camera interviews. First of all there was Ted—it was so weird seeing him show up in front of the camera for once—who proudly explained how he’d used the mug shard along with context clues to figure out Oscar’s identity. He told the whole story in a very particular way, without ever actually saying Oscar’s last name. They wanted to give credit to Ted for his sleuthing, while still saving the big reveal for the scene directly after it, which happened to be Oscar himself.

  “My name is Oscar Hernandez. I’m twenty-nine years old, and I used to be an actor on the show Garrett’s Guide to Life.”

  Oscar too, got his own fancy lower third. The editors had decided to alternate back and forth between his very first confessional where he’d explained who he was and where he’d been all these years and one of Jesse who was explaining how they’d miraculously started dating and falling in love. It sounded like something out of a fairytale. A really twisted and depressing fairytale, but still.

  “Oscar is the first person who ever made me feel like I could be more than what people expected of me.”

  “Before I met Jesse, I hadn’t left my house in twelve years. It’s because of his love and support that I’m able to be sitting here today.”

  It ended with them both simultaneously saying, “I love him.”

  At that, there was another commercial break. This one was much less raucous, mostly because those in attendance, all save for Jesse and Oscar, had tears in their eyes. Pretty much everyone in this room had worked on/lived through some part of the filming process, but none of them had experienced the full spectrum of emotions that Jesse and Oscar had. Somehow, the people at Hillenbrand—under strict orders from Jesse, Oscar was sure—had captured it perfectly. It didn’t seem scripted or pretty or forced. It was literally just the progression of their relationship playing out across the screen.

  The commercial ended and the show came back on for just long enough to run the ending credits and play a quick teaser for the upcoming episodes.

  “This season on I’m Coming Out,” the announcer said, followed by a bevy of clips with prime sound bites. Some highlights included Jesse’s cameraman friend singing “The Star-Spangled Banner” like an absolute angel, Oscar sitting at the Sugars’ dinner table saying that he used to be an actor, a woman crying as Jesse handed her a giant check, and finally, Leah’s loud exclamation of “I can’t believe I get to meet Oscar Hernandez!”

  The show ended and the room was quiet for about half a second before erupting into applause. Everyone was congratulating each other on a job well done and patting Jesse and Oscar on the back.

  “That was so good!” Isabel shouted, giddily.

  “I’m like, actually jealous of the production quality,” Katelyn agreed.

  “That sound mixing is impeccable if I do say so myself,” said Amal.

  “The news footage was a nice touch,” said Steve.

  The compliments just kept coming. Nobody had a single negative thing to say.

  Oscar stood up to face his boyfriend and found him looking at him with bewildered doe eyes. It was clear that he hadn’t previously believed that he could pull off something so romantic and pure, but Oscar had never had any doubt. He leaned in to Jesse and kissed him, not giving a rat’s ass about the people around who were watching them.

  “Love you,” Oscar mouthed, placing a hand on Jesse’s slightly stubbly cheek.

  Jesse opened his mouth, about to say it back, when his phone started ringing. Jesse dug it out of his pocket and looked at the display. Oscar knew it was network executives by the way Jesse’s eyes narrowed and his Adam’s apple bobbed.

  “I’ve got to take this,” he said apologetically, and ran off to a more private room.

  Oscar already knew what they were going to say, that the show was a complete and utter success. There was no way it couldn’t be. Oscar knew that it was bound to make his life infinitely more complicated, but that was a problem for another time. For now, he was content to kick back with all of Jesse’s favorite people and celebrate a job well done.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  After that emotional roller coaster of a viewing party, Jesse had retreated to his bedroom at Sugar Manor to process things. Part of him was still riding high on this hazy cloud of astonishment. He kept having to fight past the negative voices in the back of his head saying that this entire night had been nothing but an elaborate dream.

  Allen had called and told him afterward that his premiere had actually broken a record for reality TV viewership, and that with all the buzz about Oscar, that viewership was only going to climb higher. Angie had also called, wanting to know which appearances she should book him for, since pretty much everyone in the entertainment news business was clamoring to talk with him.

  Jesse had never been a particularly creative person. He didn’t draw, play music, or write books like many of his friends did. He possessed no definitive outlet into which he could funnel his passion and the innermost workings of his heart. Therefore, the fact that he, Jesse Ray Sugar, had managed to create a show from scratch that was beautiful, touching, and transformative meant the world to him.

  It was a weird feeling, producing something that was both intimately personal to him, but also wildly entertaining to others. He wondered if this was how his sisters had always felt about their own show.

  He was also, as per usual, worrying about Oscar. They hadn’t really had a lot of time to spend together these last two weeks, and even though he’d seemed perfectly fine during the viewing party, Jesse would have liked to get a verbal confirmation. He was always just a little bit terrified that every big step Oscar took was going to lead into a regression period. Alas, it was already too late to call him. Oscar had enough trouble getting to sleep as it was. So instead, Jesse was lying on top of his bed, staring at the ceiling and letting his thoughts wander where they may
.

  Almost as if sensing his restless energy, there was a sudden knock on his door.

  “Yeah?” he called, without sitting up.

  There was no answer. Jesse frowned. Usually his sisters would have just barged in by now.

  “Uh, come in?” he added.

  That seemed to do the trick. His mother opened the door a crack and stuck her head inside. Upon seeing him doing nothing more than lying there staring at her, she walked all the way in and closed the door behind her. She was still dressed up for the party in a sparkling maroon gown and her heels click clacked on the floor as she made her way over to him. Her mouth was set in a tight line and her posture looked incredibly serious.

  Jesse sat up, concerned. He was already mentally preparing for an argument with her. Maybe she was upset that she wouldn’t be able to use him in her schemes anymore. Maybe she was coming in with an idea on how to exploit his newfound success already.

  “Mind if I talk to you for a bit?” she asked instead, shocking him. It was the softest he had heard her speak in a very long time.

  Jesse nodded dumbly. His mom sat down next to him on the bed as if she did this all the time. Spoiler alert, she did not do this all the time, or even some of the time. In fact, she never did this. Rhianne Sugar was not a supporter. She was a doer. She was not gentle, and she did not ask for permission. It just wasn’t her way. And yet here she was, staring down at her only son and nervously twisting a loose ring around her right index finger.

  “Jesse, while I was watching the episode, I couldn’t help but notice how… difficult I must have made things for you these past couple of years.”

  Jesse blinked. It was true of course, but he had never expected his mom to actually admit to it.

  “Yeah well,” Jesse shrugged. “You didn’t know.”

  Rhianne shook her head.

  “That’s no excuse and you know it.”

  Jesse stayed silent and his mom took a shaky breath.

  “I just wanted to say that I’m proud of you. So very proud. And no matter what happens or what awful things I do, I still love you and your sisters very, very much.”